Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What was the worst decision you ever did?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When Kundalini is awakened accidentally, what can be done?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When does a woman know she is cumming?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When was the first time you suck on a penis?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why does it matter so much to atheists that God doesn't exist?

I can count

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why does a lot of the YouTube community support the MGTOW movement?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What was your first gay male experience?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have a reading level above third grade

What are the best mattress options for a comfortable night's sleep in Pompano Beach?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What does Jesus mean in Revelation 3:3 when He states, "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God?"

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”